21 January 2010
its into the 21st day of 2010.
i welcomed 2010 with a whole load of projects on hand.
2 more projects to go and i can have all the fun i want.
tired. i just want to close my eyes and fall asleep.
13:37
18 October 2009
Dedicated to my sister, Lydia.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance!
school's starting like tml. dread school but looking forward to see my friends at school. misses! school this semester is at Tourism Academy @ Sentosa. Awesome!! looking forward to that place but not the foreign students there. oh well. ok. gotta sleep now. bye!
looking for the strength that i've lost.
will you be my pillar of strength?
Labels: sentosa...here i come.
00:04
16 October 2009
it just hurts so much more.
how much longer you want to keep things from me?
dont i have the right to know?
who am i to you?
you lied.
how many more times you want to lie?
i dont know how much time it would take for my wound to heal.
i dont know how long can i last anymore.
all i want is for you to tell me the truth.
how much longer are you going to hide from me?
why was i so hostile to your friend(s)?
i dont know which of your friends are really just your friends
and which are your friend-turn-scandal-turn-friend.
your agreement with her still stands, doesnt it?
if i let you go, you'll go back to her.
wont you?
jerk!
not just her.
there are many others.
dont you agree?
how many more scandals you want to have before telling me?
telling me the whole truth?
or i'm just another of your unwanted scandals?
just a play thing cause its something new to you?
i'm holding back.
i'm just waiting for you to tell me.
i wont say till you tell.
unless, you love me no more.
tell me if you love me no more.
i'll say goodbye and turn away.
walking this road alone,
is nothing new to me.
Labels: where is the light that i need?
09:17
14 October 2009
so scared.
scared of losing you.
tell me
what must i do
to not lose you
things
that i want to tell you
but i don't dare
because i don't want to hurt you
P.S I LOVE YOU
22:48
from all sources that i gather, i came to a conclusion.
ALL GUYS ARE JERKSmaybe that's why some girls choose to remain single all their life. not because nobody wants them. and maybe that's why my mum psycho us not to get attached and married, and have kids.
nevertheless, even we know that they are jerks, we naturally fall in love with them. and because we fall in love with them, we fall into a trap that only we ourselves can get out. no one can help us. who to blame? only ourselves.
i want to tell you alot of things, it is just i don't know how to put it across to you without hurting you. if it has to be one to be hurt, i would rather be the one.
16:46
NIGHTMARE
whenever i close my eyes, i'll always recall the same things every now and then. the same pictures will follow into my head, getting clearer by nights. it is always you and another girl. and it is always a different girl but the same scenario. every single time, no matter how i try, how i beg, you will always leave with them. every night i would startle awake from that dream, wondering would this ever come true. if it does, what wrong have i done to deserve this?
it pains me every night. it makes me wonder everyday how true would this ever be? but i tell myself, this would never happen because i know you love me. but if fate decides if our relationship would take this path, i would just walk this path and suffer on my own.
i would rather that i suffer alone, than both suffering. pain. what is pain to me now? the worst pain i have suffered before, but would this be worst? i dont know. i just wonder.
if you are really true to me, you will let me know. i'll forgive and forget your wrongdoings, all because I LOVE YOU. but just this time. don't ever let me find things out on my own, because by then, i really don't know how much can i take in and control.
in a relationship, both parties must be truthful to each other, am i right? if you are hiding things from me, and vice versa, then what's the use of being in a relationship? just be friends will do, wouldn't it be better?
maybe i'm walking on a lonely road, waiting for you to join me to continue this road that is ahead of us, someday.
if you don't want to keep me company throughout this journey, let me know. i'll continue it on my own.
yes i'll suffer, but i'm afraid that you would too, which i would not want.
tell me, maybe the nightmares will turn into SWEET DREAMS afterall.
Labels: how much do i mean to you?
00:18
13 October 2009
is it just me or somethings really going wrong?
maybe it is just me. being too tired and stuff after running around each day.
anyways, school is starting next monday. and yes! I'll be in Sentosa studying. AWESOME!! =)
hais. dun noe what else to blog for now. no mood to do so.
21:54
