31 October 2006
ii dunch noe wad else tu say.is our relationship failing?ii am tinking too much lerx.today he came over,tu my work place, his OLD work place.but he neber send mie home,neber say hie,neber say bye,jux came and left.ii saw minxin,daniel and him,all walking tu his vehicle,leaving telok blangah.ii was sitting alone at the bus stop.ii couldnt help stop tinkin wad's goning tu happen if we continue lidat.ii could only wish fer the best tu happen.ii love him,it will hurt alot if something drastic happens.maybe,initally, ii shld gib more time considering acceptin him.or maybe wad ii did was right, ii hope.ii heard tis song in my mp3 when ii was in the train home.ii was really upset,thinking alots.den ii heard tis song,it greatly depicts what ii feel.I lie awake at nightSee things in black and whiteI've only got you inside my mindYou know you have made me blindI lie awake and prayThat you will look my wayI have all this longing in my heartI knew it right from the startOh my pretty pretty boyI love youLike I never ever loved no one before youPretty pretty boy of mineJust tell me you love me tooOh my pretty pretty boyI need youOh my pretty pretty boy I doLet me insideMake me stay right beside youI used to write your nameAnd put it in a frameAnd sometime I think I hear you callRight from my bedroom wallYou stay a little whileAnd touch me with your smileAnd what can I say to make you mineTo reach out for you in timeOh my pretty pretty boy I love youLike I never ever loved no one before youPretty pretty boy of mineJust tell me you love me tooOh my pretty pretty boyI need youOh my pretty pretty boy I doLet me insideMake me stay right beside youOh pretty boySay you love me tooOh my pretty pretty boy I love youLike I never ever loved no one before youPretty pretty boy of mineJust tell me you love me tooOh my pretty pretty boyI need youOh my pretty pretty boy I doLet me insideMake me stay right beside youplus another song dat ii jux came upon;[V1]Sitting on the busLooking through the windowAnd I close my eyesI see the shade of your smiling faceYour smiling faceWhen you walk in through the doorSmiling faceLike I've never seen before[V2]Standing in the rainNearly washed the day awayThen I think of youI know the sight of your smiling faceYour smiling faceAnd it's always here with meSmiling faceWell I wonder could it be[CHORUS]I still knowThat I'm never gonna find youBut I do believeThat you're standing right behindWill I ever getThe answer to my questionLife will go on, on[V3]Lying on my bedStaring at the ceilingThen I close my eyes againThe only thing that's clear to meIs your smiling faceMaybe I should wake againSmiling faceMaybe I should let it continue(end)can someone help miie tu pass tis msg tu my ddear,it seems like he wont reply my msgs anymore.he doesnt even comes here,ii really wish he does.here's my msg tu him;my ddear,ii wait fer eur msgs every nitex.ii love those sweet msgs eu've sent b4,it was so sweet that ii would even smile when ii am asleep.ii wan us tu be back like b4,so sweet and loving,being able tu be together almost every single day.~ling will always love her boon, always~
23:30
every nitex ii slpii will tink of eu.ii cant slp without tinking of eu,becos ii love eu alots.ii cant possibly get eu out of my mind,becos ii love eu.whole year,whole month,whole week,whole day,every hour,every minute,every second,ii am thinking of eu.do eu noe dat?ii may not be with eu physically,but ii am always with eu mentally.am ii with eu mentally all e time??yes ii am.ii cant jux possibly do something else without thinking of eu.ii cant possilby do dat.ii hope dat eu will not leave me,my dearest.ii want tu hold eur hands till ii am old.ii wan tu be by eur side all e time,all jux becos ii love eu alots.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------heyy peps,ii am in love.definately.ii cant get my love one out of my mind.ii will go crazy if ii dont recieve his sms.tis ish definately e sign of love.ii love my boon alots.ii noe he does love his ling alots too.guys are like kites.girls are e ones who fly e kites.ii pull in e kite only when necessary,so dat my guy will not breakaway.ii cant take it if my guy breaks-away,becos ii love him alots.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------tu my darling/anyone who can pass tis msg tu him:ii love eu.ii dun wan tu leave eur side.ii cant take it if eu were tu leave.my darling,eu're my kite,and ii will not let eu breakaway from miie,becos ii love eu alots.~ling love boon; ferever and ever~
16:10
16:10
30 October 2006
ii looked at yii blog jux nowii really wished ii can hold his hand ferever and ever.but it seems like he neber care bout mie.maybe ii am thinking too much lerx.he most prob is busy bahx.or maybe ii bluffing myself too much.are guys lidat??ii see my sis and her guy are not lidat leix.5 months lerx still so en ai.not a single day see dhem apart.ii so envy dhem.ii wish ii could be lyk dhem.ii wishing fer boon tu be always beside mie.ii miss e time dat we almost everyday together.ytd he left without telling mieii so sad.ii cried in e pool.somemore raining.ii tot he will care more.ii neber felt both happy and sad within a day.ii very happy when he came,ii became very sad when he left,without miie.ii wan him very much.ii wan him tu hab his freedom,ii oso wan mine.however,ii cant seem tu keep him by my side.darling, boon huan, ii love eu.ii wan eu.ii think of eu every single day,every single hour,every single minute,every single second.even rite now ii thinking of euand no one else.tell me, my love,how can we be together everydaybeing happy every second??
13:03
29 October 2006
roaming e streets today.
been tu e places we've been tu.
ii never forget those places,
those moments.
ii haven gone insane,
ish jux dat ii wan tu be happy.
tu feel those happy moments of my life.
ii didnt bring my fone out,
didnt mit yii,
didnt go guitar lesson.
ii wan tu hab back that feel.
when ii got home jux now,
ii recieved msgs from him.
however mostly were from yii and sotong.
touched by their concerns,
but ii didnt reply any of them.
ii jux wan tu be alone fer e day.
tu deardear:
no matter wad happens,
no matter how long it takes,
tis very song on my blog,
it is an expession tu eu,
telling you ii will always be waiting,
waitin fer eu,
and ii will hab no regrets waiting.
bcosh,
ling will always love boon;
forever and ever love him.
ii love eu, boon huan =)
00:51
28 October 2006
tu my deardear:ii put tis song, deng dai, in here,telling eu dat ii will wait fer eur return from switzerland.no matter how long it takes,eu can be assured dat ii will wait fer eur return.ii love eu alot,but jux dun ignore miie keays??tis song in here,it will not be changed till eu return.and everyday ii will place new blogs in here,telling eu how has e day been passed.ii dun like being lonely,ii wan tu noe dat as long as a day is being passed,eu will be there fer mie no matter wad happens.ii love eu, boon huan =)
17:43
27 October 2006
ii feeling so un-loved now.he last nitex sendin sms scolding miie,ii very sad and oso cried tu slp.only if he noes how ii feel,but its my hopeful tinking.ii really loving him alots,ii trying my best-est tu understand him.ii very confused now.ii thought wif one time experience b4,ii can change e things ii wan,but ii guess ii cant at all.if only ii noe wad he ish tinking,only if ii noe how he feels,ii guess things may turn out differently.ii love FREEDOM.ii am a bird dat loves flying around.however,ii am a bird,a bird dat ish kept as a pet,a bird dat nids showering of love,and a bird dat showers others wif love.ii dun like tu be a JAIL-bird.neither would ii like my other part of miie be.--------------------------------------------------------------------ii see couples wawlking down e streets,loving and happy.ii wish ii could be like dem.ii wish dat e other miie would like dat too.---------------------------------------------------------------------ii guess he's rite.ii am too much of a control freak.but he has tu understand why ii am lidat.ii guess he will not even gib a damn tu underdstand miie.very soon ii will be a stand alone again.my heart breaks into a million thousand pieces.ii cry everytime ii tink bout it.CAN ANYONE SAVE MIIE FROM ALL THESE??II TINK II AM GOING TU DIE.
14:33
26 October 2006
ii love tu be in control??eu love freedom??wad e??wad ever...ii nid tu clarify dat,ii am no control freak...ii dunch wan derx same thing tu happen again,on my second relationship.ii love being loved,and ii love having someone dat ii can love.ii am jux afraid,afraid dat e history will repeat its self'.if it really does,ii cant stop it,ii will accept my fate.however ii dun wan it tu happen.ii love my darling,ii dun wan tu leave him.ii cant imagine leaving without,without being loved,or loving someone.ii will definately go insane.ii will wait fer my darling,no matter wad,unless he says he dun wan mie anymore.but ii love him so much,dat ii oso wan tu noe if he, too, love miie as much as ii do.if fate says dat we cant be together,ii will change fate,definately.ii cant bear e pain tu leave my darling.he's my everything,he's equivlent tu my life.losing him may nort only cos miie pain,but death too.ii swear dearly tu GOD,if anything happens,ii will always be e first tu be by his side.ii will be e first tu console him,e first tu make him smile or laugh,no matter wad it cost or takes,becos ii love him.and becos ii love him,ii will teasure him with all my life.wad's e matter wif him now??he's neber so fierce b4...ii am really scared now.mummy says he's a self centred guy and ii shouldnt be wif him.but...butii love him so dearly.ii am terribly afraid.tu my darling:ii love eu my dear,forever and ever.but now,after recieving his sms,my heart stops serveral beats... ...... ... ...no pluse now... ... ... ... ...
23:26
ii really really love my darling alot alot
but ii jux dunch understand why haven we been that close
ever since...
ii dunch noe when
really...
ii'm nort sure at all
ii'm really doubtful
hab things really changed??
or has it been always lidat??
ii tink dat ii'm jux a sub fer his ex
ii dunch unerstand him at all
he doesnt seem tu be the guy ii noe anymore
ii'm really hurting inside of mie
ii'm trying really hard on my side
ii'm trying tu understand him
ii noe dat he's working nowadays
but ii still hab tu put it tis way:
IF HE DOESNT EVEN FIND TIME NOWADAYS,
WAD WILL HAPPEN TU US WHEN HE GOES TU SWITZERLAND??
my heart paused fer a moment when ii asked myself tis question
many hab asked why did ii stead wif him when ii noe he will be leaving soon?
ii told them ii did so becos ii love him
and ii'll wait fer him
but now
even ii'm doubting myself
ii asked myself many times tis question b4 turning here
and everytime ii asked myself
ii would pause fer a long long time b4 answering myself
ii cant stop asking myself am ii jux his ex's subsitude
am ii jux a stand in??
darling...ii jux wan tu ask if eu still love miie e way eu do??
becos darling ii still do love eu as ever b4 and even more...
tears forming in my eyes,
rolling down my cheeks as ii type in here, uncontrollably.
taking every hour,
every minute,
every second;
jux tinking of him, e one that ii love so truly.
only if he knows,
only if he feels wad ii feels,
only if he tinks e same way as ii tink,
ii wouldnt be sitting here so miserably,
so confused, so worried.
wad if he doesnt noe,
wad if he doesnt feel e wad ii feel,
wad if he doesnt tink e way ii tink,
wad's e point of being miserable,
being so confused, and so worried fer??
ii feel like a fool
a fool who hasnt loved and felt loved fer a whole year
wantin love and after havin e person ii love
sitting here
typin all tis nonsense
tinking all e best would turn out
while doing nothing?
NO!! ii hab been typing messages after messages
but no longer do ii recieve those messages dat ii wished tu recieved
all ii wan ish tu be loved by e one ii love so dearly
ii dunch want tu be dumbfounded if ii was tu be asked e same question again
ii want tu tell everyone dat no matter how long he takes in Switzerland
ii'm going tu wait fer him bcos ii really truly love him
tu my darling:
ii love eu
and ii'm willing tu wait fer eu
no matter how long eu take
becos,
no one can replace eu in my heart
eu're e only one fer ling.
00:55
14 October 2006
wad happened between us??why did sisters hab tis kind of troubles??i tot my life has changed fer derx betterbut now i guessed it hadnt and it has even dropped fer derx worst of the worsti tot we are sistersand sisters are tu share problems togethertu solve the problems that each other habtu make the better of each other's life..but maybe i'm not fit tu be sisters wif eu ppli caused more problemsrather then solving iti'm uselessi'm not fit tu be a sisterreallyi shld take a step backmaybe not only a stepa few thousand steps backtu be back tu my usual selflike the way i used tu bei rather not care but anythingden get myself into a whole lot of troubletu yii:sorrie fer wad happenedi noe it's too late fer apologisesbut i'm truly sorrieif i'm really the caused fer eu and ben tu quarrelli'm sorrie,truly sorrieand i will oso nort do anything that eu dun like
15:49
04 October 2006
life's complicating,my life i meani'm jux confusedreally totally confused.i dunch noe why.even if i noe why,i cant tell.not even tu the closest people i hab.my problems,i'll solve on my own.i jux nid someone tu understandtu understand wad i'm going thru.tu gimme derx support i nidif i cant solve my problems,who will do so fer miie??if eu really wan tu help,jux dunch put more problems into my current problems.i'm stressed enoughSTOP!!okii,many thoughts running thru my mind rite now,the solutions tu my problems.i nid tu think thru throughly.believe miie,i jux nid a time out.jux gimme a lil more timeand i'll find an answer...trust miie...
19:26
03 October 2006
i tink we're really drifting
drifting tu a place that we'll be two worlds apart
eu've neber tok tu miie lidat
until recently
eu've hurt miie badly
really badly
eu've broke my heart
again and again
but wait..
my heart wasnt whole tu start wif first.
so many times
so many different times
that eu've broke my heart
the peircing thru
ish such pain that i wish
i've gone tu another world
where i can actually find peace within miie
i'll crash eventually
one day.
every nitex when i cry myself tu sleep
i think of the many pleasent memories we had
the times when there was only smile and laughter
the times when we only wanted tu be by each other's side
now i'm starting tu doubt it
really.
every nitex i ask myself
why?why am i lidat?
wad's the reason?
eu noe wad,
i rather choose tu be laid tu rest
and find the only peace that's within miie
and only wif the peace
i will be gone.
i wish that when one day when i'm gone
i'll only live in the hearts
of those who loved and cared fer miie
fer those who loved and cared fer miie
i'll treasure them
and will put them stored ferevr within miie
09:29
02 October 2006
i jux dunch understandwe are very close tu each otherish it jux because of another friend that has appeared and we hab been closer den ever,and dat both of us aint dat closeor dat both of eu aint dat close anymore??i really jux dunch understandi noe eu angry cos yii may not be tellin eu as much as she ish tu miie nowbut diia,no matter wad it ishno sister bond can be brokenish jux derx distance we're havinor maybe its jux dat derx bond between both yii and ii getting closerthat's all...
17:24