27 November 2006

haix.really sad today.ii dunch noe why.maybe its because of him.ii love him so much but in the end oso lidat.ii scared one day ii might go crazy.others tell mie tu ferget bout him and find a new guy,even jonathan ish telling mie dat.ii now not sure which path tu take.ii told jonathan tu ask him if he still has feelings fer mie.the moment ii hab derx answer,ii will noe which path tu take.

tis ish really the first time my heart shatters.it didnt happened when ii broke up with dickson.ii really feel hurt inside.so hurtin and painful dat one day ii am unable tu take it.the shoes,the cardigen,ii dunch noe wad tu do wif it.ii am planning tu keep it away, tu stop mie from thinkin bout him.maybe it will work,maybe it wont.

everytime ii wear the shoes and cardigen he bought fer mie,ii will tend tu go tu the places dat we've been tu together.ii cant shed anymore tears thru my eyes,but ii am cryin on the inside.ii try tu immune myself by consummin alcholic stuff,it does seem tu work,but only fer awhile.after dat,the pain comes back again.

ii noe how nice it is tu be single, but ii oso noe how nice it ish tu hab someone love eu so much and eu lovin dat person back.that feelin ish not bein able tu feel when derx right person is not dher.bein single is habin freedom,not being tied down,tu be independent.maybe ii hab been independent fer too long, and a sudden feelin of love hab made miie confused.

tu come and think of it now,only if ii had told him lets be friends first,maybe things would turn out differently.ii am not sure now.if only he could tell mie an answer.thou ii wan an answer from him,ii already hab an answer in my heart.if only he and ii hab derx same thinkin,how nice it would be.

**~ii wish upon the stars, tu protect him wherever he goes,tu make sure dat he's safe and sound.tu let him realise dat ii am really fond of him and that ii will always be here waitin~**

01:11

26 November 2006

keays.
dis ish tu all who are concerned.
ii am fine now.
lettin time tu let myself tu get over him.
ii dunch noe wad else tu do.
maybe time will help.
lyk wad ii hab told sotong,
if he wan tu do things till so chee bye,
ii will too.
however ii will not do till so XIA JIAN.
he wan tu be xia jian,
let him be larx.
he wan tu play lidat,
be my guest!!
haix.no use wastin my tym over him lerx.
ii really neber love someone so much b4.
eu guys hab told mie before,
ii can find a guy much better den him.
maybe.
dickson took mie a year tu get over a 3yrs relationship.
how bout a 29 days relationship?
ii am not sure.
no matter wad,
ii will see tym.
fer now,
ii will try.
ii will wait.

all because ii love boonhuan alots.

00:43

24 November 2006

heyy peeps.
ii am back tu blogg here.
4days,3nitex chalet ish very..
how tu put it?..
fun,exciting??
well yea.
last nitex played the best blackjack of my life.
ii won 40dollars,excludin wad ii had lost previously.
so cool!

maybe it cos ii was down.
feelin wasnt really quite dher.
he turned up at derx chalet,
only last nitex nia.
at first ii saw him ii excited larx.
but ltr got tis girl came up behind him,
my heart totally dropped,
and shattered into millions of pieces.
ii love him so much,
so so much,
and wad ii see when he turns up?
ii dunch noe wad tu do.
in a total loss rite now.
maybe wad siya-jie was rite,
he ish a fucker.

ii told jonathan bout derx girl he brought.
well ii think jonathan maybe thinkin derx same thing,
dat girl maybe jonathan's ex.
wadfer boon so toopid tu date his buddy's ex??
maybe ii am more toopid.
too toopid tu say ii wait fer him.
but ii love him alots.
if dat girl was wad he jux told us was a friend,
why did he deny tu jonathan bout turning up at derx chalet?
ii am now FUCKING PISSED OFF by his attitude.

pls larx,
if he wan make mie si le zhe tiao xing,
he gotta try harder.
if it was miie rite,
ii will surely ask derx person dat come wif miie tu stay over,
tu make the other person si xing.
wad a lame thing tu do larx.
wan tu see who hab higher tolerance,
come larx,
ii not scared.

as long as both of us are around,
he will always hab a place in my heart.
ii wont hate him,
ii wont kill myself over him,
my tears will not drop fer him,
all becosh, if he does dis on purpose,
he is not worth it.

~ling always always love boonhuan~

15:09

13 November 2006

another 3 days passed,
and ii am back again.lols.
well been busy fer derx pass few days.
working 6days in a row.
from part-timer tu becoming a full-timer
plus becoming sick too. =(
haix.whu ask miie tu be derx "senior" dher.
hab tu serve customer and train new peeps.
keays.
dher's tis guy.
nort say he "shuai" larx.
kinda cute and annoying.
his name ish Elwynn.
such a strange name.
keep on por annie.
but pls larx!! annie too old fer eu.
take huiping larx.lols.
keays.huiping ish oso a new girl.
she's sweet, cute and chio.
ii noe her bro, Chris.
both sis and bro not pure blood singaporeans larx.
got mixture here and dher.
____________________________________________
haix.
ii am trying tu ferget him,
time and time again.
but ii cant.
really ii cant.
its not dat easy.
ii still love him alots,
alots ish ii cant count.
fergetin him ish impossible.
siya jie say he a FUCKER,
ii told her he's nort.
he jux didnt wan each other tu get hurt more.
ii noe he love mie dat why he dunch wan mie get hurt.
dat why ii love him even more.
haix.

are guys really t-shirts?
all ii noe boonhuan isnt one,
he's a guy whu loves his girl.

ii will wait,and slowly move on.

22:42

11 November 2006

3days since ii last blogg lerx.
gort lots of things ii feel ish pullin' miie down.
ii tot ii can treat him as friend,
but ii cant.
so xin ku.
ii mis him alots.
whole day,whole nitex thinking of him.
ii dunch whyy.
ii blurr lerx.
ii think ii love him too much lerx.
ii tot ii found my prince in shining armour.
guess ii am wrong lerx.
but my insitution telling miie ii am rite.
thinking too much?
maybe.
cosh my sis told miie tis:
"mummy say boon playing wif eu nia.
he and his friend maybe betting see who can jio eu first."
*slap her face larx*
if he play wif mie,
why treat me so nice?
why kiss mie everytiime he send miie home?
why?why?why?
*fumming mad*
ii dunch believe her.
if real how?
haix.*beginin' tu cry*
dhen ii dunch noe wad tu do lerx.
ii now very confused.
ii love him alots.
ii really do.

ii will wait fer him tu come back tu mie.
ii kinda understand how he feels lerx.
guys like him loves freedom.
dhey dunch like tu be controlled,
neither do ii.
ii will show him,
show him ii understand him now.
ii hab my suspicions(dunch wan tell too much).
hope ii am wrong.
ii really do hope ii am wrong.

**~ ii will wait fer him.all because ii still love him alots.ii miss boonhuan alots.all ii wan ish him. ~**

01:55

07 November 2006

i still love him alots.
hope tt he noes.

maybe he doesnt.
but nvm.
ii will wait fer him derx.
no matter wad.

ii tried asking him out fer lunch today.
cosh he ord today mahx.
but kena rejected.
well ii dunch mind.
we friends mahx,so??

ii tot of derx best lerx.
ii will wait fer him.
ii norts impatient derx.
ii love him,
will gib him more time,
more space,
more freedom.

all jux becosh ii love him.
~simple~

22:37

today he ORD/ROD lerx.
well, ii cant be wif him,
which ii hab been waitin since we hab stead.
now cant lerx.
ii still wish him all the best fer e comin days.

all ii noe ish ii cant let go.
ii still love him as much as ii still do last time.

09:13

06 November 2006

ytd ii very shagged.
work and work non-stop,
cos got reservation from 1pm.
lasted till bout 3plus lidat.
dhen at e same time,
got lot customer came in.
business ytd very good.
SHIOK larx.lols.
dhen 6:30 got another reservation.
wah!!cafe full larx.(ii mean indoors nia)
business so good tt oso closed early.
yea=)
but ii knock off early,
hmm.
knocked off at 8pm.
dhen went swimming lorx.ha!!
well,ytd boon and daniel got come swim.
tt their usual.hmm.
dhen got dhem tu send miie tu mrt.
very derx lazy lorx tu wait fer bus.lols.

b4 ytd,
ii tot ii haven gotten over boon.
however,
after ytd,
ii knew we be friends first still better.
but if he got a new girl,
make sure ish ii dunch noe derx,
if not ii gib her one tight slap!
ii mean it lorx.
ii still love him alots,
but it is deep inside miie larx,
so ii will not show it 'round.

ii still love him no matter wad.
dumb?
well neh!
he is one tt ii found true love in lorx.
ii can say tt dickson and ii are jux PUPPY LOVE.
loving someone eu hab tu commit into it.
well,
dickson and ii hab no commitment lorx.
ii now look back at my past two relationship,
we didnt start off as friends.
ii tink if we did,
it wont turn out lidat.
at least now ii learnt from my mistakes,
so my next time relationship,
be friends first, dhen decide if shld stead.
no matter wad hor,
ii will still wait fer boon.
whether 184 or 3344,
ii will wait.
but if new love turns in front of us,
well, tt will be a new thing,
at least we will hab a new begining.
but ii truly wish fer us tu be back together.
all jux becosh ii still love him alots.=)

19:28

03 November 2006

well it's been a month since ii knew him.
29 days of stead,
1 day being friends.
but ii hope,
ii wish,
dat as time passes,
we'll be back together,
knowing each other better.
ii never blamed him,
it's not totally his fault either.
both of us hab fault.
we didnt noe each other quite well.
basically,
both my relationships started off,
without being friends at all.
ha!well ii hab tu cope with it.
but ii hope our friendship will blosom,
not sour.
times with hiim ish basically UNFORGETTABLE.
ii am not really sure if he's my price charming in tt shining armour,
but time will show it tu me.
all ii nid now ish he giving mie another chance,
let mie use tt chance,
tu prove if ii am worthy tu hab a place in eur heart.
mm..now ii dun noe wad tu say.
but definately,
time will show.
with no doubt,
ii will wait fer him,
maybe it be short term;few weeks or month?
or long term;3 years?
ii will wait,
no matter how long.=p

11:55

02 November 2006

ii am not wif him lerx.
ii dunch consider it as a break,
is jux tt both of us hab taken a step back each,
being friends first,
dhen see how it goes,
see if we can carry on wif tis relationship.
ii still love him alots.
guess ii thou ii hab stepped back,
my love fer him hasnt gone.
it isnt easy.
ii cant possibly take back der love ii gave someone.
ii still love him thou,
really.
but first,
both nid tym tu understand each other better.
ii hope we'll still be able tu hang out together like b4.
he is one ii love tu hang out with,
cos being with him ii feel secure
and loved.

tu boon huan:
thou a step has been taken back,
ii still love eu as b4.
pls dun feel being pressured.
ii noe both of us nid der time,
ii am willing tu wait,
no matter how long.
but ii will widen my social world,
and wait fer eu at der same time,
becos ii believe in love at first sight,
and ii believe in mircle tu happen.
no matter wad,
ling will always be here.

22:56

it is now 4 plus.
ii said earlier on tt ii will go look fer him.
and ii did.
at first ii didnt dared tu,
but in the end ii did went tu oriental.
ii wanted tu go inside der poolside cafe,
jux tu look at him.
too bad,
the tymin isnt rite.
the cafe was closed fer service when ii went dher.
ii stood by the side,
wanting tu hab a glance at him.
but ii couldnt see him.

ii saw my friend's nick on msn.
it goes lidat:
guys are jux like t-shirts,
you love dhem at first,
but soon dhey get out of fashion.

ii glanced and glanced at her nick,
havin the first thought tt it is so true.
but ii asked myself again,
are guys really like t-shirts as she had said?
no dhey are not.
dhey are spices tt adds flavour tu our lives.
dhey are the mircle,
dhey are the ones who becomes special in our lives.
when we fall fer dhem,
it's like an illness,
CANCER ii mean.
it is incurable.

if guys are like t-shirts tu us girls,
dhen wad are we tu dhem?
t-shirts too, ii guess??
mm..nethertheless,
my guy is not my t-shirt.
ii dun wear him,
ii love him.
having him ish like me getting CANCER lidat.
ii love him so so much tt nothing can pull my love away from him.
he's like my life,
my everything.

losing him costs me every god damn thing in my life.
ii cant lose him,
neither can ii let him go.
all ii wan ish him.
he is my spices.
he adds flavour,
colour, fragrance,
tu my life.
ii simply love him too too much.
ii cant imagine life without him.

all ii nid ish him
all ii nid ish boon huan

yii,
can eu help miie tell him tt ii cant be without him,
when the tymin ish rite? pls...
cosh ii cant lose him.
cosh ii cant let him go.
it hurts miie alot.

16:08

now it seems like ii now gotta wait,
really really wait fer him.
ii dunch noe.
ii feel like he is at a distance.
it feels like ii am recieving no more love from him.
inside miie,
ii feel very down.

ytd ii recieved msg from him.
but in his msg he said:
"honestly, ii think we got tu cool off.
tu think whether shld we continue tis relationship."

instantly,
ii felt my heart blew up,
into many many millions of pieces.
ii cried,
so hard tt ii am afraid tt ii will go blind,
den ii could not even see him again.
ii love him so so much.
does he noe??
he said:
" eu're a good girl,
eu can find someone better den miie."
but in here,
in my heart,
he is already derx best ii can find.

ii told him ii will wait fer him,
but he said:
"dunch waste eur time on me.
find someone else who deserves eur love."
eu're derx one tt deserves my love and attention.
ii cant possibly let eu go.
if ii were tu change a lil,
will he wan miie back.
yes ii noe,
he like miie fer who ii am.
but ii wan tu understand him more,
ii wan another chance tu prove it right,
fer both him and ii.
ii dunch wan tu lose a battle,
when ii noe ii still hab derx chance tu fight on.
ii wan tu win.
ii love tu win all derx time,
but even if ii lose,
ii will lose with glory.

ii love him so dearly,
does anyone noe??
ii cant lose him.

ii walked and walked the day thru,
thinking really hard.
ii still wan him,
may we be friends,
den back being stead again,
ii dun mind.
ii really wan tu understand him well,
tu noe all his likes and dislikes,
so tt ii will not make a mistake.
ii love him.
ii truly love him.
ii am going tu find him today.
ii am going tu talk tu him.
may it be right or wrong,
all becos ii still wan him,
and still am loving him.
ii cant lose him now,
and not in the future.
ii wan tu be with him ferever and ever.

13:15

01 November 2006

friday,
3 Nov 2006,
will be mine and boonhuan's day.
ii wan tu be happy,
ii wan tu be wif him.
ii noe on tt day he gort medical checkup in camp,
and on tt day ii am working from 6-10.
ii wan tu spend quality tym wif him.
ii love him alots.
ii wan tu bring tis relationship tu another xtend.
ii wan us tu be closer,
but wad can ii do?
ii dun do anything tt will hurt him,
ii dun wan him tu avoid miie.
ii wan him tu be all mine,
at least,
on tt very special day.
ii can never forget derx way he asked miie tu be his stead,
almost a month ago.
derx way he sounded,
derx tym he asked,
derx way he asked,
derx way he pharse his question,
ii simply loved it.
yes!
ii can say tt ii am deeply into him.
but ii hope tt he will norts be derx one tu break my heart.
ii am goin tu ask minxin bout ytd,
wad dhey did and etc.
did he send her home or wad?
ii am very worrried.
all becos ii love hiim alots

my dearest boon huan,
eur ling will always always love her boon

19:43

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