haix.really sad today.ii dunch noe why.maybe its because of him.ii love him so much but in the end oso lidat.ii scared one day ii might go crazy.others tell mie tu ferget bout him and find a new guy,even jonathan ish telling mie dat.ii now not sure which path tu take.ii told jonathan tu ask him if he still has feelings fer mie.the moment ii hab derx answer,ii will noe which path tu take.
tis ish really the first time my heart shatters.it didnt happened when ii broke up with dickson.ii really feel hurt inside.so hurtin and painful dat one day ii am unable tu take it.the shoes,the cardigen,ii dunch noe wad tu do wif it.ii am planning tu keep it away, tu stop mie from thinkin bout him.maybe it will work,maybe it wont.
everytime ii wear the shoes and cardigen he bought fer mie,ii will tend tu go tu the places dat we've been tu together.ii cant shed anymore tears thru my eyes,but ii am cryin on the inside.ii try tu immune myself by consummin alcholic stuff,it does seem tu work,but only fer awhile.after dat,the pain comes back again.
ii noe how nice it is tu be single, but ii oso noe how nice it ish tu hab someone love eu so much and eu lovin dat person back.that feelin ish not bein able tu feel when derx right person is not dher.bein single is habin freedom,not being tied down,tu be independent.maybe ii hab been independent fer too long, and a sudden feelin of love hab made miie confused.
tu come and think of it now,only if ii had told him lets be friends first,maybe things would turn out differently.ii am not sure now.if only he could tell mie an answer.thou ii wan an answer from him,ii already hab an answer in my heart.if only he and ii hab derx same thinkin,how nice it would be.
**~ii wish upon the stars, tu protect him wherever he goes,tu make sure dat he's safe and sound.tu let him realise dat ii am really fond of him and that ii will always be here waitin~**
