09 November 2008
love trap.
2guys,N and M, plus 1girl.
N is a guy ii've known recently, and M is another guy that ii've known fer quite sometime back.
N is a really understanding guy. but most of his tym is dedicated to his work and ii would spend most of my tym trying tu meet him up.ii understand his job scope, ii know what he is doing, but ii got the insecurity feeling when ii'm wif him.ii always tend tu think of the negative side of his doing, never the positive side. funny thing is that, i trust him.
M is a really nice guy. he is shuai, is jus tt his bod is gone case. recently we jus got into contact agains and hab been spending most of my time wif him. he would take the initative to come find me even though he stays pretty far. he's been really nice to bring me out fer dinner/movie.
deciding between N and M is kinda difficult cus both hab their different points. i dont know. the deciding factor is difficult. ii nid someone tu tok to.
one thing tt M doesnt know is that ii do do the thing tt he wouldnt lyk me tu do. the one thing tt N doesnt know is tt the close-ness ii'm tu M.
ARGH!! everything's so wrong. ii noe ii cant take both. it will hurt them as much as it would hurt me. how ii wish all of this would never had happened.
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school's been great so far. but ii hab event after event to do. now staying home, being a "good" girl. then tonites will be going tu grand's hse fer dinner. miss grandma alots. haven seen her fer lyk ages because of my events and stuff.
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haven been hanging out wif kittyn and nina fer pretty long tym. seems tt things hab started to fade between us. ii dun noe. but jus hab the feeling. -yeayea,ii'm superb sensitive.but so what?-
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now ii nid tu sort my own personal things out. ii dun noe. but ii'm afraid my schoolwork will be affected by it. ii do hope to really settle down soon fer this semester.
14:21
