27 May 2009
I'M FLYING UP INTO THE SKY!!it really feels great when someone praises you on something.
this something is really a big achievement for me.
looking back into the SSM Boot Camp week, i really think that i can do really well now.
come to think of it.
for someone who cannot carry the dinning plates during practice and even broke down into tears because she was really frustrated with herself, to now being able to clear all four dinner and side plates in one trip. WOW!! i'm really super happy.
MR GOH EVEN PRAISED ME TODAY!!=)it really made me fly up into the sky, literally.
ok. tell you more next time around. BUT I'M REALLY HAPPY that i cannot stop talking.
#just hope the boyfriend do not mind the chatty-ness.
Labels: SSM is FUN
17:52
22 May 2009
MORE THAN WORDS.pages. paragraphs. sentences. letters. alphabets.
words are just words. they mean nothing if you don't put any actions to it.
but even with actions, sometimes it is empty, it just don't show. why?
it's the trust you have with the person who is saying and putting those words into actions.
but sometimes, those words, those actions, those trust just seem so meaningless.
trust is not an easy thing to build. once lost, to re-build is tough.
i have experienced that, and never want to lose that trust anymore, because, i can't afford it anymore and that i know what the consequences are.
*baby, i love you. i trust you.*my best time spent for the past couple of months was spending it with the boyfriend. he has always been there for me no matter what happens and always have been my listening ear, and my cushion(??). oh well, no matter what, the boyfriend is always the best and even if he is not the ideal perfect boyfriend, i still love the boyfriend.
Thank you for being there, as always. =)
Labels: foresaken
09:49
14 May 2009
SUPER-WOMAN
girls are more..HARDWORKING?
i suppose.
girls are more acceptable to.. CHANGES?
i assume.
girls are more..COURAGEOUS?
i presume.
but i guess i aint in any of these categories.
hardworking? maybe
acceptable to changes? very
courageous? maybe
but i cant seem to find myself confidence anymore.
i'm proud of who i am, what i have found, what i have achieved,
but i'm just so afraid to lose them all.
previously, i wasnt like that. i was full of confidence.
but why am i lacking in that now?
so damn pathetic.
damn it!
15:14
BGRunknowingly, 6months have passed.and being with eu everyday, surprisingly,has not been boring or should i say, i have not been bored out.6months. long enough to gain a trust of someone.but i dont understand one thing.as time flies by, i'm losing my self-confidence.i have always been confident in what i want to do,what i want to achieve, and who i want to be with.but, i'm so afraid of losing eu to others."dont be silly. i'll always love you."that's what you have told me umpteen times.but is just that i have the fear of losing you.i dont know, but all i know is that i love you so deeply,that i cant afford to lose you.consider that "throwing" myself at you?maybe. but you are one other person that i really and truly love in my whole entire life.i'm so used to think ahead in life.but now, i dont even dare to predict what will happen in the near future.why is that so?
anyways, darh-ling,
I LOVE YOU.
Labels: p.s. i love you
10:44
12 May 2009
SCHOOL!sch ended sometime ago.went lab to print all my ssm stuff and managed to complete printing every single piece that i need within an hour. *yeppies!*while, suppose to go lecture with kelly and sophia,but was still printing notes so, had to pass it.oh well, lab's closing now.gotta run!update more tonight.what's behind those eys that i have to unveil to find out?
17:44
11 May 2009
I MISS...1. kittyn
2. nina
3. maisie
4. stephy
5. kevon
6. limin
7. novi
and many others..
these are the people i really miss alot.
the times we've spent together can never be replaced.
i enjoyed the joy and laughter we created.
the atmosphere that can never be re-created.
yes.there are others too that were part and parcel of these events.
but still, the above mentioned are people that i have not spent time with for very long.
long meaning, since school started/re-started.
i long to meet all of you guys again,
and try to re-create the times that we've spent.
i miss you guys a "dozen-million" lots.
i mean it!!
_________________________________________________________________________
LOW SELF-ESTEEM & CONFIDENCE
is not that i feel that you dont love me.
is just that i dun noe when will it be the time that i'll lose you.
i'm just so afraid. do you know?
i just think that i'm not worthy of you.
i'll just think and let my thoughts run wild.
i wont tell. but i'll only cry myself to slp.
honestly, i know i am over-sensitive.
but i just cant help it. its so uncontrollable.
yes i love you. and its a challenge for myself.
i need to cope and control what i think is uncontrollable.
i just know that every second that i'm spending with you,
i'm blessed and happy.
22:48
07 May 2009
ytd went to ECP to meet darh-ling and pick the kids up.
took the bus from sch to Parkway and walked all the way to where Big Splash is.
the kids were really fun to be wif.
they bring the laughter to each and everyone.
its so forward looking to pick them up each day.
oh well, but being wif them makes me feel,... damn old!! (ZOMG!)
while walking the underpass across to ECP,
ii suddenly had the urge to take a photo thru the concave mirror.
but when ii looked thru the mirror,
it felt so ....... ..... .... .. .
EMPTY!! =(I MISS AWESOME KREW!>stephy, ii miss eur naggings
>maisie, ii miss eur AWESOME-ness
>limin, ii miss eur auntie-ness
>novi, our one and only NO LINK president
>kevon, eur bitchy-ness
made new friends, but nothing feels the same as when ii'm wif eu guys.
dear, thanks for tolerating my nonsense.
ii really dun noe what to do without you.
would you ever leave me, ii would not know.
but ii really treasure everyday spent with you.
23:31
