14 October 2009
NIGHTMARE
whenever i close my eyes, i'll always recall the same things every now and then. the same pictures will follow into my head, getting clearer by nights. it is always you and another girl. and it is always a different girl but the same scenario. every single time, no matter how i try, how i beg, you will always leave with them. every night i would startle awake from that dream, wondering would this ever come true. if it does, what wrong have i done to deserve this?
it pains me every night. it makes me wonder everyday how true would this ever be? but i tell myself, this would never happen because i know you love me. but if fate decides if our relationship would take this path, i would just walk this path and suffer on my own.
i would rather that i suffer alone, than both suffering. pain. what is pain to me now? the worst pain i have suffered before, but would this be worst? i dont know. i just wonder.
if you are really true to me, you will let me know. i'll forgive and forget your wrongdoings, all because I LOVE YOU. but just this time. don't ever let me find things out on my own, because by then, i really don't know how much can i take in and control.
in a relationship, both parties must be truthful to each other, am i right? if you are hiding things from me, and vice versa, then what's the use of being in a relationship? just be friends will do, wouldn't it be better?
maybe i'm walking on a lonely road, waiting for you to join me to continue this road that is ahead of us, someday.
if you don't want to keep me company throughout this journey, let me know. i'll continue it on my own.
yes i'll suffer, but i'm afraid that you would too, which i would not want.
tell me, maybe the nightmares will turn into SWEET DREAMS afterall.
Labels: how much do i mean to you?
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